“Love Things for Their True Essence- Love People for Who They Are”: Wabi Sabi Tells You!

Please note that this article doesn’t intend by any means to promote the endorsement of some Buddhist conception or way of thinking. But rather it aims to shed light on a very essential element of beauty we lack in our modern life; “naturalism”, i.e. valuing things for their own value regardless of their imperfection.. actually valuing them for their imperfection.

In an age where plastic surgeons make fortune out of changing people’s external images – a phenomenon that has developed into a fully fledged industry; gathering myriads of professions investing time, effort, and money to make people look in a certain way, have certain weight, extra white teeth, extra long hair, and extra moist complexion- valuing the true essence and the nature of objects, people, and life is, indeed, a requisite.

It’s time to love life as it is and for what it really means, loving people for who they really are; their true personas rather than their looks, and above all accepting and loving ourselves as we are since we first came to this world- that is to say celebrate our imperfection and see it as “perfect” rather than defective.

This is more or less the domineering conception of the Wabi-Sabi, a Japanese methodology gaining increasing popularity in the West and the Arab world alike that glorifies simplicity, humbleness, and values imperfection and undertasted beauty that is void of any symmetric connotations. It also calls for accepting transience; the fact that all matters undergo a brief cycle of evolvement, growth and death.

The term Wabi Sabi comprises of two sections: Wabi, a Japanese word that stems from the root WA, and refers to peace and harmony. It represents endorsing simplicity as a lifestyle and feeling satisfied with the least valuable things, in other words it’s the opposite of greed.

The second half of the term, Sabi, refers to rust or things that have become dull after once being glorious and sparkling- in other words it signifies impermanence of external beauty and glory that fade as people and things grow old.

This conventional conception originally stems from the very famous Buddhist theory of the Three marks of existence, also referred to as the ti-lakkhana, claiming that everything in the physical universe is marked by three characteristics: impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, also referred to as suffering (suggesting that nothing on earth can provide humans with unlimited and timeless satisfaction)- and the third is egolessness or non-self.

Wabi-Sabi  represents a controversial aesthetic view of beauty and esteeming imperfection while valuing asymmetry.

This profound conception offers a very romantic interpretation to what is normally perceived as imperfect or defective. It promotes the acceptance of a surely unchanged fact that we, humans, are bound to a cycle that doesn’t stop or exclude any of us, the natural and everlasting cycle of evolvement, growth, and death- This perception helps one understand the true essence of life, and how to live it. It also implies that the time we waste in imperfectly yet persistently attempting to change some universal facts such as growing and looking old, is a waste of time and energy; two essential factors of life that need to be invested in achieving rather than changing the unchangeable. 

Richard R. Powel’s “Wabi Sabi Simple”, sums the essence of the Wabi Sabi, giving a very realistic and comprehensive glimpse of the concept.

In his book, Powel says:

“Wabi Sabi is a way of life. It may be helpful to contrast it with what is slick and stylish and plastic and faux. It doesn’t mean we don’t use or appreciate all the positive technological advances of the modern world, but it does mean that we understand the need to balance tech slick with Wabi Sabi”.

 This concept relates so much to the notion of “acceptance”, accepting the way you look accepting your job, even if you seek to change career or have a better one, and more importantly accepting people you love for who they are without imposing your own perception and understanding of “beauty and perfectionism”.

Wabi Sabi is not a phenomenon or a way of thinking. Also it’s not some sophisticated concept you need to study and acquire a PHD in it to feel its benefits. Simply put; it’s a subtle view you need to consider in order to value much of your surrounding- in Powel’s own words; “It’s a secret you already know”.

 Maha Youssuf
- First published in Magnificent Magazine

Why is Polygamy Allowed in Islam?

Dear Sheikha

Could you please explain to me why a Muslim man is permitted to marry up till four women? While Muslim women are not given the same right?

I can’t see what good allowing men have more than one wife can bring to the society.

However I mean no offense to your noble religion, I just feel puzzled whenever this issue is raised at any gathering.

Jessica from Chicago

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Dear Jessica

I can see that my dear readers have become interested in a variety of topics far from politics.

Polygamy in Islam is a rich subject that needs to be covered in more than one session. But let me give you a simple fact about our world that will help clarify the matter for you. But first I want to assure you that when Islam allowed men have up till four spuses it didn’t give this license without conditions, it limited it to certain circumstances and under certain conditions so that to ensure that nothing damaging affects the society.

Islam for instance set conditions for polygamy,

Let’s see what the noble Qur’an says in regards to this point. 

“If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.”
– Qur’an (4:3)

And because Islam is a religion for all times it granted respect for women’s rights and set as a condition for polygamy that a man is able to deal justly with his wife (which is not an easy condition). 

“It is very difficult to be just and fair between women.”
– Qur’an (4:129)

So Islam permitted polygamy but very highly discouraged it.

Contrary to the widespread misconception about Islam’s polygamy, allowing men to marry more than one wife wasn’t for males’ sexual privileges and desires, but to ensure certain social order, including protection for the orphans and widows and preventing sins such as illegal sex and prostitution.

And what a lot of people don’t know is that Islam actually came to limit polygamy. Before Islam, there was no upper limit for polygamy and men had up till hundreds of wives.

Maha Youssuf
Extracted from my Al Jazeera column under the pen-name Sheikha Sajida

Fight off Season Blues!

Autumn is usually time for winding down and pondering over the busy season preceding it, that is the active Summer… So keeping your soul as high as it was takes a lot of energy and has two ways of combating its disorders…

First, Spiritual exercises and that through investing more time in uplifting pampering the fragile spiritual being inside you- For example setting new resolutions that would help you have something to look forward to and rejuvenating what’s remaining of your energy.

Also trying to pinpoint the triggers and energy boosters that kept you going during summer. You may as well try and locate the core source of your soul aches, whether you do have problems or you only feel heavy will eliminate your confusion and unexplained burden. Secondly by enacting some practical measures. For example… having weekly outing plans.

Also sporting more regularly and being engaged in activities, team, charity or volunteer work, as much as possible and in a way that suits you more, will give you a sense of living and add more meaning and energy to your life. Concerts also tend to have a credited mood uplifting impacts…

Escaping Autumn blues can also be fought through food, by breaking meals routine and nature. For example including more juices, dining with friends or neighbors if possible… or actually colleagues… Oganizing picnics and trips, let them be safaris,hiking trips if possible, birdwatching, walks, or even sightseeings..

Particular foods and vitamins are said to be good mood boosters, instilling happiness and joy, such as coffee, carbohydrates and whatever foods that are rich in amino acid. Also Milk, Avocado, and whole-grain breads to mention a few. Also drinking a considerable amount of water daily is said to be a good catalyst in warding off mood swings and stress…

One more thing… reading some few pages of the holy book of your religion has proved to give one’s soul much of the comfort it lacks, for it provides the sense of assurance it needs. Bottom line, enjoying the milder things of life, something the overly exciting and busy season of summer doesn’t allow much time for…

Maha Youssuf

What Is Anti-Semitism?

Dear readers,

The world witnessed heated debate in the wake of the accusation of the American anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan of being Anti-Semite. Let’s define the term “Anti-Semitism”.

What is Anti-Semitism?

Ms. Cindy has been accused of being Anti-Semite for remarks some media sources reported she has made, in which she expressed her opposition to the Israeli occupation of Palestine.

Well, in case the woman made those remarks, this is not Anti-Semitism!

All Arabs belong to the Semitic race, and not only the Jews. What a lot of people don’t know is that Arabia, the birthplace of the Islamic religion, is also the birthplace of the entire Semitic race.

Semitic is a word derived from “Shem”, son of Prophet Noh, the progenitor of the Semitic people who gave the world the three monotheistic religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

But the wrong widespread definition of Anti-Semitism is “hostility towards the Jews, which ranges from individual hatred to institutionalized violent persecution”.

What I also need to stress here is that limiting the meaning of “Anti-Semitism” to anything politically damaging to Israel is simply hypocrisy. When people express their anger and disapproval of Israel’s policy and the atrocities it’s committing against Palestinians; this shouldn’t be labeled “Anti- Semitism”, because this is hate against Israel’s actions and not against the entire Jewish race, religion or culture.

Killing children and demolishing civilian houses are crimes against humanity, a term in international law that refers to acts of murderous persecution against a body of people, regardless of their religion, ethnicity, or race; which means that the Arabs and the Muslims are included.

Maha Youssuf
 Extracted from my daily column at Al Jazeera Magazine 2006 under the pen-name of Sheikha Sajida

What is Jihad?

Dear Sheikha,

We keep hearing the word “Jihad” even in our media, however, regardless to the negative portrayal the main stream Western media provides, I’m sure many Europeans and Americans, as much as I, don’t know the exact meaning of the word.

Is it terrorism? Is it carrying weapons to attract more adherents to your religion?

Or is it carrying weapons to fight the infidels, like what the Muslims used to do some 1400 years ago?

Steve B. from the States

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Dear Steve,

The concept of Jihad has been misinterpreted by the Western media as what some refer to as “religious militancy”, in ther words, using weapons to fight for the cause of one’s religion, regardless of whether fighting is against a true enemy or not, and regardless of whether it’s justified and being carried out against the right target or not.

But “religious militancy”, even if I’m opposed to it, doesn’t arise from vacuum. Human history has many examples of people becoming extremists and carrying weapons to fight dictator rule or bad social circumstances.

In other words, I may be opposed to it, but it may be justified.

“Religious militancy” in my view, is the outcome of extremism, which had been attributed to many factors including poverty, suppression, dictator rule, injustice, unemployment… etc.

Despite continuous attempts to link Jihad to militancy, or so-called religious militancy, the concept of Jihad, carries a totally different meaning.

The word Jihad means to fight or struggle in the way of God, and the verb “fight” here is not limited to “fight” using weapons, it can be fighting to become a respectable and successful Muslim, fighting one’s greed, fighting one’s evil intentions by praying and fasting regularly. It means fighting for the cause of Islam, which still doesn’t mean aggressive warfare. Jihad can be by tongue, by words and by knowledge.

It can be carried out by being a successful and an effective member in the society.

But Jihad using weapons, exemplified in the Palestinians’ fight against the Israeli occupiers (which is definitely justified) is the only meaning the West stress in their interpretation of Jihad, linking it to terrorism and militancy, and limiting its meaning to “killing the enemies of Islam” in an attempt to further shatter the image of Islam and its followers, whom they always portray as “evil souls”.

Another point I need to stress here is that while Jihad is linked to Muslims and Islam- militancy, extremism and terrorism on the other hand are not limited to Muslims, we have Jewish and Christian militant groups, terror organisations and extremists.

Theodore Hertzl, a Jew, was the founder of terrorism in occupied Palestine. And we have the American Christian terrorist Timothy McVeigh, the Oklahoma bomber. But those who wish to ruin the image and the world’s respect for Islam focus only on Muslim terrorists, as if the world’s followers of Islam are all terrorists.

Unfortunately, while religion should be a weapon to mobilize and unite people, it had always been misused throughout human history.

 Maha Youssuf
Extracted from my old Column at Al Jazeera Magazine under the pen-name of Sheikha Sajida