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Gender War: How Can Men and Women Communicate Better?

I never have quite figured out why do men and women find difficulty coping with their different natures?

No matter how much sciences develop or how matured and cultured people become, the difference between the two sexes will always exist. It had always exited since the days of Adam and Eve till date!!

With a few exceptions, nearly all couples are engaged in non-stop attempts to change one another, but all those trials are deemed to failure. Only when a relationship ends, do partners reckon the reason behind their failure to live happily together.

How many times did you yell at the face of your partner complaining that he or she will never change? How many nights did you spend staring at the ceiling pitying the sad fate of your relationship?

Over the course of their lives, men and women acquire various skills and traits based on their cultural heritage, upbringing and experiences they go through. All that, put together, affect the way they look, the way they dress, speak, eat, and definitely the way they think and perceive things. It shapes their religious beliefs as well.

For every couple to have a healthy relationship, both partners need to communicate their needs, desires and whatever they aspire for, yet without exchanging accusations and blaming one another for what has become of their relation.

It’s true that men and women differ in nearly all characteristics, they’re almost opposites, but failing relationships couldn’t simply be attributed to just gender differences. It’s how each partner react to those differences that decides whether the relationship will carry on successfully or not.

What basic information do men and women need to know about each other in order to avoid much of the long-standing conflicts going between them?!

I shall list a number of facts men and women need to comprehend to save their lives much of the headache they keep complaining about.

What men need to know about women?
– When a woman keeps asking her man if something is bothering him or something went wrong at work, she’s not necessarily seeking answers or actually wants to know what happened. Probably she’s not getting enough attention from him and is looking for reassurance. As long as her sense of insecurity is not tormenting, then it’s ok to express his feelings toward her and tell her that he loves her.

– Expressing too many feelings is not a sign of weakness, and showing your vulnerability in front of the woman you love will never be used against you. Opening up will just bring the greatest good to your relationship and shall indeed return to you a hundred- fold.

– Every woman likes to feel her man around, always supporting her and doing things for her, in other words, do all the hard work, leaving her time to take more care of her beauty and stay glowing, for it gives her more strength. Thus, part of each couples’ problems nowadays is directly related to women’s need to work for long hours to meet the rising needs of themselves, house, and children, leaving them shattered at the end of the day with no time to apply some moisturizing crème before going to sleep, and so they rely more on men to make them feel cared for and alive.

– In order to persuade a woman or win her on your side, it’s better first change her emotional state instead of attempting to convince her.

– Women have a sharp memory and numerous studies found that women save painful situations or upsetting memories for a longer period than men. So you’d better watch out!!

What women need to know about men?
– Most men are not very good listeners, it’s not that they don’t care, but they’re just not used to it, they weren’t taught how to. However this doesn’t mean you will never be able to get your man develop an ability to listen to you. You can smoothly train him how to, showing him the great benefits this will bring to your relationship.

– Too much complaining, even about external matters, and continuous sense of discontent, are major turn offs for men.

– Men hate to shop; it’s just a universally recognized fact. But you can get your partner change that by persuading him that his pants no longer fit him or that his “handsome shirts” are not handsome anymore. And you can also promise him to have a look at electronics stores in the mall.

– When you feel that your man needs space, this doesn’t mean that he wants to be far from you. He just needs to spend more time with himself to rearrange his life, mull things over, and it won’t be long before his attention is shifted back to you.  So even if your man told you that he needs his space, this shouldn’t trigger your worries.

Men’s dreams since they were young were never about commitment and having house and children, may be they dreamt about living with the woman they love, but commitment and married life was never part of their dreams.

– Men hate to show their vulnerability, and this has nothing to do with the woman in their lives, it’s deeply engraved in their psychological being.

– Men don’t communicate their emotions as easily as women, they need their partner to show them direction and assure them they can express their love, anger, confusion, whenever they feel like it, and however they want.

The most common mistake made by both sexes is blaming one another for the deterioration of their once unique relation; it’s very destructive to the relationship though, as it hinders any hope to save their life together.

In the past women relied on their men for financial reasons and men were dependant on their wives to take care of their food, laundry and house stuff the way their mothers used to. But the trend has totally changed now, men and women don’t rely on each other for materialistic needs anymore, they need to relate to each other, communicate and feel loved.

Now I leave you with these illuminating words of John Gray, bestselling author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, wherein he asserts what I’ve been attempting to stress throughout this post…

“Accepting our psychological differences frees us to experience an underlying oneness that permeates our relationships…”

Maha Youssuf

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